Daddy G. etc.
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The sunny side of the
moon...
Nearly one month later DaddyG is feeling at home.
He likes his flat. He likes all the people here. He has even began to
explore his environment more and more. Everyday now he is
walking through the village, is meeting more and more other
friendly people. There is a bakery, where he is buying bread
and biscuits; in another shop he get his cigarettes, he can do a bit
gaming (Lotto)...); then he detected a nice restaurant, where he can
enter and have some small talks at the bar. Most time he is friendly
and friendly are the people.
At home his son and his
daughter-in-law are looking at him, the friends and neighbors are
friendly. Some times they take him away to some shopping in the big
towns (Hanau, Frankfurt, ....). And always, while driving or walking
through these areas, he is wondering "that here something must
go on" because he can not believe that so many people and cars
are moving around, but this is the normal traffic here, the daily
life of the cities.....
Last night he visited a play in a
local event, accompanied by many friends and acquaintances,
sitting very close to the stage. It was a play about the so called
'Nibelungen', a very old story about ancient history in Germany.
Originally a difficult and serious story. But the 6 actors arranged
the whole story with a lightness, much humor, that the whole audience
enjoyed it very much; DaddyG too. That night he was really like a
young man...especially at the bar afterwards....
Real
differences...
The interesting thing in reality is the
interaction between objects, between living systems, between human
persons. Persons can be different. Some persons are extremely clean
with their bodies, with their clothes - others not. DaddyG has
difficulties to remember what he has worn yesterday, whether he did
some washing etc. More and more people don't smoke any more. DaddyG
is smoking heavily - but he learned to respect others, and outside of
his flat he is going to a different place when he is smoking
(mostly). Some persons have a very strict order how they arrange
things in their flat (don't touch anything...). DaddyG has no clear
knowledge any more about the whole order; there are still some
'baselines', but he is confusing nearly all details, is mixing up his
different clothes in some special order, doesn't keep his kitchen in
the 100%-area....
All in all this must not be a real
problem. You can support him a bit and you must accept that he is
DaddyG, an old man with 85, with a weakened memory.
Difficult
minds...
As I said, this must be no problem, but there are
always people which have problems if other people are different. It
is know that people which as children have been 'programmed' to
be clean, to arrange all the things in a fixed order, have
later mostly great differences to live with people in the same flat
which are not so clean, which do arrange things in a different order.
The clean people can suffer really, they can be driven to hot
emotions when things are different. Sometimes this are reactions
against parents - parents which lived in some chaotic environment
have children which are trying to built up an opposite world, a
clean and arranged world. Vice versa, parents in clean environment
have children which want to be different, which 'hate' clean
environments; their difference is chaos, chaos as their being....
My
wifeAT is in this respect different compared to me; whereas I can
live in very clean as well as in very chaotic environments without
leaving my calmness, she can't; below a certain level of order she is
experiencing problems, she can become upset...
Inside
out...
What is showing up in difficulties between people
is a philosophical truth which is mostly forgotten: reality is not
the reality of the objects outside of your mind, no, it is the
ordering of things which happened inside in our head, inside in our
brain, in our personal minds. The 'things outside' are neither
'clean' nor 'dirty'; but we are culturally trained to see the world
outside in some cultural patterns which are becoming for us the
'culturally induced' reality. Suddenly certain arrangements of things
are called 'clean', others not. And if you want to be part of certain
culturally defined 'games of behavior' you have to imitate these
patterns, you have to 'internalize' them; if not, you are
outside of the game ('what the people are thinking').
Clearly,
there are no objective criteria for such cultural patterns: they
'emerge', they change gradually, and they need again and again people
which try to oppose those patterns. On the other hand we need such
patterns to stabilize our environment, to enable some rules, some
expectations for planning, for being productive etc.
But as
long as people are involved we should never forget that a person
which is failing to be able (or willingly) to follow those cultural
patterns must not 'per se' be a bad person. Cultural definitions are
always secondary compared to the primary existence of a human person.
Some day everybody of us will become weaker, more confused,
disorganized etc. and then we ware in need of people who share some
sympathy with us, at least as long as we are not yet completely
dead.